In Defense of the Family: Same-Gender Attraction

The following post is part of a series of posts, entitled "In Defense of the Family." The purpose of this series is to inform readers of various aspects of the document "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," as well as to encourage readers to consider their own beliefs regarding the purpose of families. Furthermore, I would invite all readers to prayerfully consider the teachings set forth in The Family Proclamation.

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This will be a brief post because I'm going to direct you to some helpful resources by the LDS Church in case you want to know more.

Unfortunately, many hold the view that Mormons are "anti-gay" or "homophobic." Even if someone has had an experience with an LDS Church member who did act in a way consistent with those labels, it is inherently wrong and frankly ignorant to label every other member in that way.

In fact, in the LDS Church, we believe and teach that all people should be treated with kindness and respect. We believe that "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God," and that homosexual behavior is wrong in the eyes of God. Now, don't misunderstand me here! We do not believe it is a sin to experience feelings of same-sex attraction. (We honestly don't know why some individuals do--nature, nurture, a combination, neither?) However, acting on homosexual feelings is a sin.

We believe that engaging in sexual behavior before marriage is wrong no matter your sexual orientation. The Law of Chastity is not sexual-orientation-specific. Any person who violates the Law of Chastity and thereby makes a mockery of God's precious life-giving gift to man is in the wrong and must repent to receive a remission for the sin.

I hope I've made it quite clear: feelings of attraction are not sinful. Acting on them inappropriately is.

When a person experiences unwanted feelings of same-sex attraction, it is the opportunity and obligation of Church members to extend love, mercy, and non-judgment toward that individual.

Finally, the Church does not believe that those willingly involved in homosexual behavior are loved any less by God, nor do we believe that they deserve to be mistreated. The Church has actually advocated for gay rights in terms of housing, employment, hospital rights, and other areas. As long as the rights of the traditional family and freedom of religion are not infringed upon, those supporting or practicing homosexuality also deserve certain fundamental rights, and they should not be discriminated against.

These are just a few of my perhaps poorly worded thoughts. For more information, please visit https://mormonandgay.lds.org/. Here are a few more resources, too:

https://www.lds.org/manual/god-loveth-his-children/god-loveth-his-children?lang=eng
https://www.lds.org/ensign/1995/10/same-gender-attraction?lang=eng
http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/the-divine-institution-of-marriage
http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/same-sex-attraction
Children of same-sex couples and baptism: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/handbook-changes-same-sex-marriages-elder-christofferson

In Defense of the Family: Mental Illness and Familial Adaptation

The following post is part of a series of posts, entitled "In Defense of the Family." The purpose of this series is to inform readers of various aspects of the document "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," as well as to encourage readers to consider their own beliefs regarding the purpose of families. Furthermore, I would invite all readers to prayerfully consider the teachings set forth in The Family Proclamation.

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Mental Illness in the Family: Adaptation for the Individual

            “I think I have OCD.”

Those were the words that began one of the most difficult admissions I’d ever made to my parents. Though I was a successful student, natural athlete, and faithful church member, I had felt mentally trapped for eight years. It wasn’t until I was almost certain that I knew the cause of my anxiety that I finally confided in my parents, outlining some of the disturbing obsessions that plagued my life. At that point, I had no clue how multifaceted obsessive-compulsive disorder really was. All I knew was that my mind was different, and that I had been fighting it in solitude for too long. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states that “disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation” (paragraph 7), and my mom knew the moment I told her about my symptoms that such would be the case in our family. Mental illnesses can have a significant effect on a person’s holistic wellbeing and therefore may indeed require individual and familial adaptation.

The first step in appropriate adaptation is recognizing and appreciating that each family member has a celestial purpose in belonging to his or her family. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul proverbially explains that there are “many members, yet but one body” (v. 20). The various members operate in different roles toward a unified goal. Just as the physical eye works for the purpose of seeing and the ear for the purpose of hearing, so too does each family member provide a significant contribution to the familial body as a whole.

Paul continues his epistle in explaining that “the members should have the same care one for another. And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it” (1 Corinthians 12:25–26). Hence, it is the divine obligation of family members to “mourn with those [loved ones] that mourn. . . and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:9) by appropriately adapting to special circumstances. Likewise, it is the divine opportunity of family members to “rejoice with” those loved ones in times of joy and triumph. The Family Proclamation also counsels extended families to join in on these roles when circumstances require it (paragraph 7).

When there appears to be more mourning than rejoicing, enduring the effects of a family member’s mental illness can seem fruitless and disheartening. For instance, constantly reassuring a child with OCD that she should trust herself more can become discouraging when that child speaks of an inability to trust herself at all. In this case, the parent’s heart aches because he or she sees so clearly what the child’s mental illness is temporarily concealing. Of course, the nature and length of adaptation varies according to each individual’s and family’s needs. However, there is a method of support common among all cases. That is, the burdens associated with mental illnesses “can be lifted only by love, understanding, and acceptance” (Morrison 2005). Love and understanding—the latter described as compassion—are two specific principles of successful family life outlined in the Family Proclamation (paragraph 7). Even when the trial seems overwhelming, it is important for a family to remember these two principles in order to overcome it together.

 During particularly trying periods, it may be easy to question Why me? or Why my child? Truthfully, families may not receive a fully detailed answer to such questions in this life. Nevertheless, we can find comfort in the knowledge that no earthly tribulation is wasted. Tribulation, Paul teaches, “worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope” (Romans 5:3–5). All people on Earth chose to come here in order to “gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life” (Family Proclamation, paragraph 3, emphasis added). For many, mental illness is one such experience that will enhance a person’s journey toward perfection. Though at times it causes tribulation, it also cultivates patience, experience, and hope. Not only will this sequence of growing and learning bless the individual who has a mental illness, but it will also bless his or her loved ones as they walk beside their family member during these times.

Another step that families can take in adapting to the unique needs of a family member with a mental illness is “to provide for their physical and spiritual needs” (Family Proclamation, paragraph 6) in ways that others may not require. Providing for physical needs may include seeking professional medical treatment, including the proper use of prescribed medication. According to Elder Morrison, “we should not hesitate to obtain medical and other appropriate professional assistance. . . which are compatible with gospel principles” when faced with mental illness (Morrison 2005).

By ensuring that the medical practices are “compatible with gospel principles” (Morrison 2005), families can find an unexpected bridge between adapting to their loved one’s physical needs and adapting to their loved one’s spiritual needs, for the physical and spiritual are not as separate as is sometimes suggested. Furthermore, families should recognize that some mental illnesses can create an unwanted pavilion between the individual and God, at no fault of the individual. Families can assist their loved one in breaking down this pavilion through exercising the principles—particularly “faith, prayer, repentance, [and] forgiveness”—outlined in the Family Proclamation (paragraph 7). For instance, when appropriate, family members may bear pure testimony of the healing and enabling power of the Atonement.

On this topic, Carole M. Stephens recently expressed that “the Master Healer can comfort and sustain us as we experience painful ‘realities of mortality,’ such as. . . mental illness” (Stephens 2016). While the reassurance that all will be well in time does not necessarily cure someone afflicted in the present, some comfort can be found in a lovingly and sincerely expressed testimony of the Savior’s Atonement. Sister Stephens shared the story of a young woman with bipolar disorder who, in the midst of an extremely distressing episode, received confirmation and testified that Christ had suffered to take the pain away from her. Her mother, though feeling panicked by a desperation to help, was by her side the entire time (Stephens 2016). She provided a loving support during her daughter’s darkest moments and consequently witnessed the light of hope that emerged because of the Savior’s Atonement.

Because mental illness can be too great a burden for any one person to bear alone, individual and familial adaption is often essential in overcoming it. As a family acknowledges the need for unity, expresses love and understanding, realizes that no tribulation is wasted, and provides for the physical and spiritual needs of their loved one, their journeys toward perfection will be enhanced. As I have researched this topic, particularly as I read Sister Stephens’s address, I have felt a closer connection with my own family and with the Savior. I have asked God dozens of times, “Why am I the way that I am?” My mind has been enlightened and I now feel the responsibility to share my insight with others. Viewing mental illness as a temporary tribulation with an eternal purpose will help me apply the same adaptations to my own life as my family has applied to our family life.

Works Cited

1 Corinthians 12:20, 25–26. King James Version.

John 9:3. King James Version.

Morrison, Alexander B. 2005. “Myths about Mental Illness.” Ensign. Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Mosiah 18:9. Book of Mormon.

Romans 5:3–5. King James Version.

Stephens, Carole M. 2016. “The Master Healer.” General Conference. Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

“The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” 1995. Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

In Defense of the Family: A Woman's Role

The following post is part of a series of posts, entitled "In Defense of the Family." The purpose of this series is to inform readers of various aspects of the document "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," as well as to encourage readers to consider their own beliefs regarding the purpose of families. Furthermore, I would invite all readers to prayerfully consider the teachings set forth in The Family Proclamation.

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Elder D. Todd Christofferson gave a great talk about The Moral Force of Women. In it, he discussed a few "pernicious philosoph[ies]" that the world has about a woman's nature and place in society. He also shared what the truth is--how God really feels about women--along with some personal anecdotes. I highly recommend that you give it a read (or listen).

I had a lot of fun summarizing some of his points in the infographic below. I'll also provide a little extra personal commentary after the graphic.

Before I begin sharing some of my feelings on these topics, I want to first express my gratitude for the Atonement. The Atonement grants us pure power to overcome trials, tribulations, and sorrows in this life. Not only does it provide us with an enabling power, but it also gives us the opportunity to repent when we do wrong. What I say below will sound harsh to some, and it will hit close to home for some.

I will not apologize for sharing or standing up for my deepest beliefs. However, I do not want to give the impression that people who sympathize with what I will refer to as "worldly ideologies" deserve to be mistreated. And I absolutely want to make clear that if someone has violated any of God's fundamental teachings, repentance is possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Having said that, I'll share a few thoughts on the above-listed topics and quotations.

Marriage and motherhood are essential to God's plan for us. Of course, personal family circumstances may require adaptation. Not everyone receives the blessing of eternal marriage in this life, and sometimes even eternal marriage can be broken when one or both spouses break sacred covenants. Some couples, for whatever reason, may not have the opportunity to rear children in this life. Regardless, I believe our Heavenly Parents have no greater joy than serving as parents, and if we live deserving of it, we will receive the same blessing.

The world has developed and continues to develop many degrading and false beliefs regarding sexuality. We know that sexual intimacy has been reserved for a husband and wife. Not only are extramarital sexual relations inexcusable in God's eyes, but when a women conceives--within or without marriage--and subsequently elects to end the human life that has begun, she is in violation of one of God's greatest commandments. The reason is that the sanctity of life and the power of procreation are two of God's greatest gifts to us. We can remain strong and steadfast as we rely on the Lord for help in combating the false ideologies the world confronts us with.

Men and women are inherently different. This isn't to make one sex "better" than another. Rather, it is because each gender holds equally unique and essential characteristics and abilities that complement the other's. God expects us to work together, sharing our special gifts, in order to create a more perfect unity.

Finally, the world proclaims gender equality and feminist ideologies. However, what they proclaim and what they actually fight for are in many cases hypocritical. Where someone might say, "Women deserve the right to end unwanted pregnancies because she deserves to live her life as she wishes," they imply that the other human life directly involved in that pregnancy does not deserve the right to live as he/she would like to. And, of course, an abortion affects more than the aborted and the woman aborting him/her. People whose lives could have been touched and changed by this precious soul are denied that blessing because of a woman's decision to deny that soul mortal life.

As we do our best to live as God would have us live, we will make a difference. More importantly, we will be able to stand before God, clean and pure, at the last day. As women, we have within us a moral force that is strong enough to combat the lies of these days. And when we make mistakes, whether little or great, we can rely on the Atonement to return us to a previous, cleaner state. I know that this is true.