Reflection~1 Nephi 1-5 (4:7)

This is a reflection paper I wrote for my Book of Mormon 1 class last week. It is in regard to 1 Nephi chapters 1-5. I focus mainly on 1 Nephi 4:7. Before reading this, please understand that I mean it when I say (in the final paragraph) that I do not mean to boast in sharing some of my personal experiences of following the promptings of the Spirit. Now that that's been said, I hope you like it!

Nephi is an excellent example of someone who searches for, follows, and relies on the Spirit. In 1 Nephi 4:6, when he has returned to Jerusalem to retrieve the gold plates, he says, “I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do.” He then adds, “Nevertheless I went forth…” (1 Nephi 4:7, emphasis added). I interpret that word—“nevertheless”—to mean that Nephi would not shrink and go forward, even though he didn’t even know what he was going to do. He did not necessarily know what the Lord willed, but he did know that it was the Lord’s will in which he needed to place his trust. Nephi followed the Spirit faithfully and completed his mission with the Lord’s grace.

There have been times in my life when I have felt the Spirit. There have also been times, however, when I have felt embarrassed and even ashamed that the way I felt the Spirit was often different from the way others did. What so many describe as a “burning in the bosom” didn’t seem to happen to me. It got to the point where I began to doubt whether I actually had felt the Spirit. I felt like something was wrong with me. If I couldn’t recognize when the Spirit was affecting me, how could I, like Nephi, be “led by the Spirit?” In short, my spiritual compass was stuck on the “not knowing beforehand the things which I should do,” and I couldn’t quite point the arrow toward “nevertheless I went forth.”

I began going out with the missionaries more often, and I eventually was extended and accepted the calling of branch missionary. I felt so happy each time I was with the Sisters. I know that happiness was because I could feel the Spirit, and I made the conscious decision to follow it. It was during my time with the missionaries that I really began to focus on being led by the Spirit. Once, we were stopping by some people’s homes, and they asked if I had any friends in the area that needed the gospel. I didn’t actually know where a lot of my friends lived. But then I realized I knew where one did. She was more of an acquaintance, actually, and suggesting we stop by there was definitely outside of my comfort zone. It was admittedly difficult for me to get past the knots in my stomach; “nevertheless I went forth.”

Another time, we were meeting with an investigator. He turned to me and asked what my feelings were on the Book of Mormon. I shared an experience I had had in which I was provided another peaceful confirmation of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. Because I believe there are spiritual moments that should be kept personal, I hadn’t shared that experience in detail with anyone. But as I relied on the Spirit’s guidance, I was ale to find the words I needed, and it was a magnificent feeling.

I do not share these two experiences to boast in the least. Rather, I share them to exemplify the confidence (but not arrogance), boldness (but not overbearingness), and sincere joy brought about by allowing oneself to led by the Spirit. I adore Nephi’s relation of his experience in following the Spirit, and I strive to apply it to my own life more devotedly. Although there will continue to be many times in my life when I feel caught up in the “not knowing,” I know I will be, as Nephi and so many others have been, blessed and comforted as I choose to go forth anyway.

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